A fun fact about me is I can't cum before 11 am. (Not for lack of trying)

You gave up whoring for lent. George Floyd gave up breathing for fent.

Can we talk about how Minneapolis got burned down because a crack head overdosed during an arrest? #robapregnantbitch

You've heard of white boys for Harris, now here's brown boys for Harris. (Berating the waitress inappropriately) #illegal #immigrants

If you're a man and your favorite season is spring you're a faggot.

Vikings fans: "this year feels different" Ya cause you bought a new gun and the barrel tastes a little different.

A man does not grow and mature with age. He does it through pain, suffering, rejection, failure, and heartbreak. (I just call that Monday morning.)

If minnesota goes red I give all credit to George Floyd. Thank you and may peace be with you.

As much as I wanted Trump to win I was secretly hoping for massive election fraud so I could legally slaughter "politicians" wholesale style.

A strong woman will not ask for a lighter load but a wider throat.

An excerpt from a hangover. Is this present thing any good reason for my soul to be sick and out of sorts - humbled, craving, shackled, shying? Will you find any good reason for this?

I'm thankful for fat chick's on Facebook dating that don't want me to kill myself

Cloudy with a chance of meatballs but it's just me having a seizure at the family Thanksgiving.

Making an OF but it's just me attempting suicide

I like women with a 5 o'clock shadow on that pussy

No better feeling than eating popcorn while getting overserved with all your pals. #horny

Hey DoorDash can you add an option for a 5'2" latina with daddy issues?

Ma'am I'd like to sign a 1 year lease on that ass. (Respectively)

Can we chill with tik toks of down syndrome chicks with fat asses?

Thought I was dry heaving because I'm an alcoholic but really I just can't find a blanket in this house that doesn't smell like a deering sister.