Until you’ve pawned your moms wedding ring for it, stop comparing pastries to crack.

Me getting off probation and picking up dope again

At this point just sit Trump and Biden down and whoever can do more cocaine in one sitting gets the presidency.

Me on literally any amount of any drug

Whoever said laughter is the best medicine clearly hasn’t mixed opioids with benzos.

OPANA FOREVER or whatever Black Panther said

Halloween but it’s just me narcanning every kid that rings my doorbell

Due to personal reasons I will be heading to Oregon indefinitely.

POV: you are in Oregon

Breaking News: Hunter Biden has petitioned for the White House to be moved to Oregon.

Rudy Giuliani’s sideburns got more drip than 90% of dudes at NA meetings

Awesome

It’s wild how many people think a New Years resolution will cure their heroin addiction 😆

2021 vibes

Me: I’m California sober My PO: you’re going to jail lmaooo

Tell me you are on methadone without telling me you are on methadone

Her/oin

We really missed an opportunity by calling it Xanax instead of Klepto Bismol.

She’s a 3.5 but she’s a ball of coke.