The Value Menu is a no brainer

Your terms are acceptable.

you’d be smiling too if you were immortal

Throwback to the person I dated who got mad at me for tipping too well and once told me it was really controlling for me to say “text me when you get home!” When they left my house, I hope moving to New York City made you a better person than everyone else or whatever

the people’s princess

My pussy got GERD

You’re telling me Paris Hilton fried this broccoli

I KNOW YOU NOT DRIVING?!

she pissed me off today

Chechov’s DICK

Yeah baby I got ED….. ERECT DICK!!!!

sorry bradley

One day I’m going to punch one of those people that clack their nails against an item for ASMR and it’s not going to be my fault it’s an AWFUL NOISE