I'll take CEH over Joe Mixon all day, every day

I stopped myself mid-stream when a SimpliSafe rep got on the line after a 25 minute hold. Where's my medal?

The extension to block distracting websites just recommended I block gmail. Sorry clients, I need to be more productive doing the work I'm no longer receiving because I blocked all of your emails telling me what I'm supposed to be working on. #productivity

“Remember that time we hung out five months ago and I bought you a drink? Here’s a Venmo request for $10. Pay me in 90 days or we’re going to court.” - If health insurance companies were a person.

Samsung needs to purchase naming rights to Progressive field, so Cleveland can be the "Guardians of the Galaxy S21"

Why Cubs, why? Trading Rizzo to the Yankees? WHY

Well, shit. Super happy for the Ricketts family. They saved a boatload of cash today. #SellTheCubs

This looks so wrong

It’s 12:28 am MST and I’m sitting here tearing up watching the #Cubs 2016 World Series DVD. What a special group of guys. Thank you for everything Anthony Rizzo Kris Bryant Javier Báez #comebacksoon

If you are not already, please get vaccinated. Unless you have an autoimmune condition & a doctor has recommended against it, there is no reason why you shouldn't get vaccinated. This isn't political. It's just common sense. Get vaccinated, end pandemic.

This is why I have no interest in drafting Joe Mixon anywhere near his ADP. Bernard was not the issue. Mixon was routinely hit in the backfield last year & while the O-Line has changed, I don't think it's necessarily improved.

Just in case it hasn’t been plastered all over your timeline yet, Football is Back. Also, Dodge Juggle 3 is on ESPN2.

PSA: Highlight videos should be no longer than 4 minutes.

I hereby lay dibs on the band name “Moose Wilson”.

Quick hypothetical: Would you rather get stabbed with a knife, spend time in critical condition in an ICU as your family wonders if you’ll survive or not, then pay $1,250 to be healed? OR Not get stabbed by a knife for $0? #GetVaccinated #MaskUp #RecallDeSantis

When your client mistakenly says "depth chart" in a conversation totally unrelated to sports & you miss the next minute of them talking because all you're thinking about is your fantasy football draft this weekend.

Terrace Marshall is the 4th receiving option on a Sam Darnold-led team. Might want to pump the breaks just a bit on the hype train.

Player to target after Sony Michel trade: Rhamondre Stevenson. Damien Harris has missed 9 games over the past two seasons. Stevenson has looked great in pre-season and has generated a lot of buzz from Pats camp.