How I stress test my code

I have a better version of The Purge: People who hunt animals for sport and not necessity should be allowed to do so since they can also be hunted for sport. At any time, for the rest of their lives. Streaming now on Karmaflix.

Me: Im not going to jump to conclusions My brain: x.com/manishamt/stat…

You should be able to set the snoo to latino mode so that it gives that baby an extra 75 mins of jiggling and a grandma voice saying “ssssh mijo be quiet or the boogeyman will come eat you”

“One day she will look at me like that” I whisper to myself as I see my wife’s face light up with love like the ending of a Nicholas sparks movie as we pull into Target.

Netflix: you are gonna like this movie Me: No! Netflix: you are gonna like it Me: Nuh uh! Netflix: trust me Me: NO NO NO Netflix: look at this trailer Me: 👀 Netflix: 😏 *20 mins later* Me: 🥹 😍😍😍😍 A few days later Netflix: you are gonna like this movie Me: NO! …

Accidentally opening your front camera

Imagine being a fish & explaining this to your other fish friends who had to go the normal way & watching their reaction “Hey joe! check this out , Bob says he went through a magic tube across the sky & it took him seconds to get here! What next Bob, some of us will grow wings?”

Me using the dmv website

This is the best possible use for football stadiums

I tried to make my 2yo laugh by twerking to the frozen soundtrack and I pulled my back muscle because apparently you need to be way more flexible. So yeah I’m a dad

I think she was my upstairs neighbor

Overheard: Girl1: Fun fact I was like totally going to be the heiress to a bowling alley Girl2: OMG that’s so totally wild wut happened? G1: idk like my parents sold it. G2: ugh sucks G1: ya…. I wanted to call it Super Bowl. Anyway my dad still has a belly and can’t sing.

Tell me you are a dad without telling me you are a dad. Note - the first time my daughter watched frozen was after Halloween.

Finally an answer

threads.net/@felipems I downloaded Twitter just so I could post that

A New York State family is in San Francisco searching for their missing son and brother, Yohanes Kidane, 22. Yohanes graduated from Cornell this spring with a degree in computer science. Earlier this month, he started working for Netflix in Los Gatos. #missing @KQEDNews