I can run two miles and run an economical analysis on your mom faster than than it takes me to make banana bread

Lincoln Journal Star This tweet is simply irresponsible. The entire East Campus community could read this and become severely traumatized thinking that it was the Riskys off of 48th in Lincoln. Shame on you

Eli Young makes songs for Sigma Alphas and basic white women

*Fall Semester Check List* Rum ☑️ Red Pens☑️ Birks☑️ Banana bread☑️ It's going to be a great semester

I can tell something happened today in AECN 141 because a bunch of freshman started following around 1:00pm and my Birkenstocks started tingling

Hannah Ann is trash tho.

Nice

You thought my classes were confusing now? Just wait until I'm poorly explaining graphs from my basement while half drunk on rum and baking apocalyptic amounts of banana bread

Quarantine Update: The law of diminishing returns may not apply to banana bread. Marginal utility may actually INCREASE for each additional loaf. Should have a paper about it out by May

Batch number three for the morning! Just can't get enough banana bread!

Is the "Flea Kicker" the only reason that we have to listen to Davidson's bitching and moaning ever week during his broadcast?

Are the Packers a non-essential part of the beef and pork industry? Their utility decreases every day

I'll be honest, I haven't taken one of my classes in nearly four years. Do I even still like banana bread and birks

Not only should Pete Rose be allowed in the hall of fame, but he should be induced because of his gambling ability Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Today I learned that the person who pretends to be me in real life (Timothy Meyer) blocked me on Twitter and that kinda makes me sad

I apologise for socially distancing myself from social media y'all. Turns out you shouldn't ingest rum soaked banana bread through any orifice besides your mouth....

The 11th commandment for farmers is "Thou shall not pay income tax"

Y'all thought I would forget national banana bread day didn't you?

And just like a mighty phoenix, Faux Tim rises from the ashes of burnt banana bread to remind us all why he exists in the first place

An oldie but a goodie