NEWS: My friends and I now own and run The Onion. I’ll be the CEO.

We’re keeping the entire staff, bringing back The Onion News Network, and share the wealth with staff.

Basically, we’re going to let them do whatever they want. Get excited.

nytimes.com/2024/04/25/bus…

I am terrified that some kid is gonna get killed because of the coterie of dipshits we call “The Man.”

You’re joking.

the actual encampment at Columbia—i'm here after teaching my final class of the semester—is downright tranquil, impossibly sweet. there is a 'nut zone' for the safety of kids with allergies.

A girl watching her dad play a drum: violent, scary, worthy of national media attention.

Bombs that collapse entire apartment blocks on top of their inhabitants: that's complicated, who can say, who are we to judge, maybe they all had it coming, best to avoid talking about it.

An 18 year old who knows the difference between right and wrong is more adult than a 64 year old who doesn’t.

there are plenty of journalists in america who will listen to a roomful of cops using every slur you can imagine and print only the official spokesperson's lines, but as soon as a left wing protest exercises message discipline they'll call them stalinists

[Uncharacteristically sincere] I love these two.

Having your own students arrested for trespassing — a crime only because you suspended their right to be on campus — is just so obviously, horribly beyond the pale literally no matter what they were protesting.