Allison (@farkdookie) 's Twitter Profile
Allison

@farkdookie

'I wouldn't even waste my time on your boobs.'*send*
She/Her/Hers

ID: 1176783626563981312

linkhttp://www.makeitgoodgrief.org calendar_today25-09-2019 09:01:22

371 Tweet

17 Followers

100 Following

Allison (@farkdookie) 's Twitter Profile Photo

There's a fine line between, "caffeine makes me feel like a real life human" and "fuuuuuuck, I'm a horny, electrified skeleton, and I want out of this anxious flesh RIGHT FUCKING NOW"

Allison (@farkdookie) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Holy shit Grace Kinstler ! I was 11-years-old when I watched Kelly Clarkson take center stage, and sing that song. That almost made me cry. What.A.Power.Move❤

Allison (@farkdookie) 's Twitter Profile Photo

That feel when Katy Perry says, "IBOUGHTATOYOTAANDISHOULDABOUGHTAHONDA!" and your boyfriend doesn't laugh, because he doesn't carry the trauma of being raised around evangelicals.

Allison (@farkdookie) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Yo, I got to workout at the gym without a mask, because I'm fully vaccinated. Let me tell you, I felt like a damn VIP.

Allison (@farkdookie) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Picture this: I make an OnlyFans account, but all the content is just me with big hair & snatched contour, hissing clever insults from a wingback chair, while wearing a long satin robe, & feather trimed stilettos, & I end every video with, "I don't have time for this shit. "

Allison (@farkdookie) 's Twitter Profile Photo

How come no one told me that foam rolling would give me super powers? Like, how does this work? I loosen up my knots, and BOOM. Full activation during my workouts. Sonofabitch.

Allison (@farkdookie) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Every once in a while, I'll get caught up in GoT lore again... but it always just leaves me feeling like "the one" got away. Fuck season 8 for that. #stillsalty

Allison (@farkdookie) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I really gotta stop eating out. Not just to save money, but because even when I order gf items, they're always slightly contaminated. I mean, I know this is common knowledge, but leveling with the fact that I really am this sensitive is a doozey. My brain feels it before my gut🙁

Allison (@farkdookie) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I slept like shit. Thought, "Meh. I have a night like this at least once a month." Went to take my morning meds, only to find that my night meds were still in my pill separator. Which means? I took my fucking adderall at 11pm last night. Thiiiiis dumb bitch...

Allison (@farkdookie) 's Twitter Profile Photo

"What are the benefits of using salt vs. sugar in a diy Turkish coffee scrub?" Well, for one, I'm not fucking tempted to put a coffee and salt scrub in my mouth.