Chris Watkin says that he concedes that at times he might be belligerent and go for the throat in interviews but also that 'fuck it, i'll take anyone that says that to my face'

New 'Head of Brand Experience' at Rightmove announces that he really believes they've 'nailed it' with their new slightly jaunty 'Let Agents eat cake' campaign on the back of their price increases. "Oh sure some of the fuckers will moan but what are they actually going to do?"

Peter Rollings says the secret to his eternal youth is Manuka honey but it absolutely 'HAS' to be taken with a Wispa, but he'd rather eat his own head than tell anyone where he's still getting his supply of them as they're in such short supply...

Stephen Brown weighs in on the brand issue that's been causing him sleepless nights. "With one simple change the ESTA's could become the BESTA's and I predict a 50-65% increase in brand recognition. You're welcome."

And so like that Groundhog day comes round once more, and what's that, the Groundhog has indeed seen its shadow and so Charlie Lamdin Charlie Lamdin changes his name to Charlie YoureAllDoomed commenting "It just felt like the right time & did I mention you're all doomed!"

The Negotiator confirm that this years awards will NOT be including 'Torture Porn' as its entertainment. "After last year we were not going to be home to Mr Cock Up, so yes its true we considered it but our awards committee decided that Dwarf Tossing was the proper way to go."

Meanwhile on the events front The Women In Estate Agency conference reinforcing that its going to be an entirely wholesome affair, with Megan Eighteen confirming "Its going to be simple turnips for lunch, we will be checking to ensure that NONE of them resemble a 'thingy!'"

Ructions continue following Megan Eighteen's eviction from the Women In Estate Agency group for using the word 'Thingy' yesterday. Elle Wood commented 'She knows what she did, the walk of shame is just the start of her atonement and rehabilitation."

The pronoun war hits the property industry at last. For many years those wanting to self identify as 'FRICS' or 'MNAEA' have been able to do so but not anymore. Iain White says 'Its woke bollocks and I'm not standing for it.' The MSM PropertyIndustryEye The Negotiator Estate Agent Today silent!

Spencer Lawrence of Paramount Properties stuns the industry today with the revelation that his favourite cheese is Brie "Asad of @locationLDN says you can't go wrong with Cheddar but its that sort of narrow mindedness that led to Brexit, I wasn't having it then & I'm not having it now."