Capt wishes he had moves like this.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❛ If anyone asks where I am, I’ve left the country! ❜ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ╱ ＷＨＥＥＬＥＲ.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❛ From here on out, you leave me and my friends alone. ❜ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ╱ ＭＡＹＦＩＥＬＤ.

Maybe it’s his spider senses (or MJ senses, as he would call it), but he’s assuming something’s wrong. What can he do about it?

Damn ma is it that serious.

NOT THE COFFEE MACHINE. Honestly, he can relate. But he channels that sadness into motivation in working out and keeping a VERY MUCH healthy lifestyle.

Language. Shit, he’s turning to Capt. Ugh.

Dope sandals. Look, they’re sweatpants buddies! Already off to a great start, man. He should reward himself with a box of pizza. Lucky for him, Peter just knows the place.

Honestly would’ve caught that with his mouth if he wasn’t turned back. With spider reflexes, he was quick enough to catch the bagel with a thin web. “Thank god it’s not a shoe this time.”

Probably sounded like grumpy cat there. It’s his fatherly instincts kicking in. Pft, cooler than him? He doubts it.

CAN THEY STOP WITH THE YELLING.

Doesn’t need these kids flexing at him with their AirPods and Anti Social Club shirts.

Calm down.

Teen lingo, man. It’s nuts.

Here to save the day. Gently prods @misfitrites. Who does he have to fight?