I was so young and naive

Me when I know that I can't snooze my alarm any longer and have to find the courage to leave my warm bed to get ready for work

Trump to American workers:

Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.

I’ll never forgive Mitch McConnell for kneecapping Barack Obama, stealing 2 Supreme Court seats, packing the lower courts with right wing fanatics & voting not to impeach Trump twice - so no, he doesn’t get a cookie for criticizing Trump’s lust for Greenland. He’s why we’re here.

If you would please consult the graph

this game is not real man

Can you put the blanket over my cage I wanna take a nap

Me watching the opening scene of A KNIGHT OF THE SEVEN KINGDOMS Episode 2 😳😱🫣

When Zhang Jiao and his Yellow Turbans send their peasants, they're not sending their best. They're sending peasants with lots of problems, and the peasants bring their problems across the Yangtze. They're bringing opium, they're bandits. And some, I assume, are good people.

bearing arms is now woke

Ossoff: This is the cruelest and most arrogant group of people who have ever ascended to high office—and their cruelty and arrogance are matched only by their incompetence.

me with the laundry from the dryer

i respect the hell outta these dudes

they’re doing this to me at work tomorrow

It’s about that time

When you're clinically depressed but the white girl music starts playing

they do not give a fuck omg