When your ex asks if you can still be friends right after a break up its the same thing as having a kidnapper tell you to keep in touch.

Love coming to school thinking my exam is at 2, only to find out its at 7 #stillcantreadat21

Early morning niggas #overbeingfat

My Queen #surroundedbyanangel

LBJ #beastmode

I don't understand why people make fake twitter pages, be urself DAMN IT, LET ME BE ME "BY MYSELF ONE TWITTER PAGE ALL DAY REAL NIGGA"

If I die before I wake I pray the lord my search history to take.

If you can't be mean to the ones you love, then who can you be mean to? #pillowtalk

If you ever get caught sleeping in school, just put your head up & say: "In Jesus name, Amen."

thatawkwardmoment when you play hockey for 3hrs n order wings from crankys on tuesday not realizing that tuesday is crankys night #sweatymes

#ThatAwkwardMoment when u drop ur kids off at school & the security guard doesn't allow u to leave because he thinks that ur a kid

Megsie working on my feet #slavefeet

People actually tend to turn the music down in the car when looking for a street sign, so they can see it better.

NBA star Steve Nash divorced his wife after she gave birth to a newborn, after he found out it wasn't his child- it was his teammates.

S/0 to Tiger Woods on getting back to Num. 1 in the world!