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Can I text u

Call me Paul Atredies how I’m wondering what the fastest way to get Arrakis

bitch want a white boy til yall fighting and he headbutts the wall like “Im so💥STUPID💥STUPID💥STUPID💥”

I would like to watch Paddington but I am afraid of the possibility there is a scene in which he is lonely and/or sad in the rain and his hat is wet and droopy I just don’t think I could stomach seeing this

Matching with one of your wife’s boyfriend on hinge >>>>

Goes hard as shit idc

the sex my beautiful gf and i just had makes the human centipede look like a hallmark movie

At the pond with my corkscrew dick giving out quack shots

Your bf just liked Bladee’s story and replied “idk if your going to see this but your music fr changed my life I love you so much please come back to Montreal whenever you can sorry if I sound stupid”

Yeaaaaahhhh chomp that fucking tomahawk you fucking animal

Often times the vitamin you are deficient in is Purpose.

When I was a freshman in high school I worked at a Pizza Hut with a 25 year old who would act exactly like this and one day she took me into the freezer and touched me

Saying “peep game” to her before pulling out and shooting a load in the air and catching it in my mouth before it hits the floor >>>>>

Girl on ig who went on birthright eight years ago: 10 common misconceptions about Israel-Palestine you should know

Sorry can’t come out tonight me and the boys are doing motionless May

Gonna need this shit ASAP

Just took a #legendary shit at the AGO debating flushing probably won’t

White ppl get mad and jus start saying anything 😭 talkin bout “FUCK my fucking ass!” Dude, relax 😭