⠀ every time i do i’m sent to voicemail! ⠀

⠀ … he scares me ⠀

⠀ ah donnae think that’s true ⠀

⠀ john the lads terrifying! i donnae ken ‘ow you find ‘im attractive ⠀

⠀ looks like ‘e bites ⠀

⠀ oh away ah dinnae need ta ken tha’! ⠀

⠀ cause ‘es a scary guy! ⠀

⠀ nae saying ‘es a bad guy or owt, ah just … avoid ‘im ⠀

⠀ why are ye making ‘im sound like a bug. and there’s no way ‘es scared of me, look at ‘im! ⠀

⠀ nae! the families big enough for me ta avoid ‘im ⠀

⠀ ‘es nae a baby. ‘e can ‘andle someone not being ‘is biggest fan ⠀

⠀ ye cannae use that as an excuse when ah don’ wanna be best mates wi’ yer weird fiancé! ⠀

⠀ we make small talk and tha’s it, john! we donnae ‘ave owt in common ⠀

⠀ ah let ‘im around the bairn cause i ken ‘es not dangerous or owt. just nae my cuppa tea ⠀

⠀ jesus okay fine! one more chance ⠀

⠀ we’ll see ⠀

⠀ ‘e told me to ‘get ‘ome safe’ so ahm gonna crash my car. cannae let a man win. ⠀

⠀ why? ⠀

⠀ ye may be fit but ahm no’ crashing wi’ my brother for ye ⠀

⠀ … tell me more ⠀