Even if there was something alive in the stew be a real adventurer and eat it. I’m not refunding coin for what equates to extra food. #DnD #dnd5e #ttrpg

I am not answering anymore questions on if it was my cooking that made the dragon thick. I say we all just move on and continue to spend coin at the tavern. #DnD #dnd5e #ttrpg

The last line of tavern defense is these weird pyramid dice I toss on the floor in front of the door. They might be worse than actual caltrops. #DnD #dnd5e #ttrpg

Its not ok to place an arcane lock on the bathroom door after tricking the barbarian to eat the hellfire chili. Now I’m missing a door and need to fumigate for at least three days. #dnd #dnd5e

A dark & stormy night isn’t a prerequisite for crime here, bad shit happens in broad daylight all the time. I just have a reasonable cover up fee. #DnD #dnd5e #ttrpg

I understand the food and beer was delicious but I still have to respectfully deny your request to uproot the tavern and place it at the top of your hoard inside the mountain. #DnD #dnd5e #ttrpg

Sir I understand your looking for an adventuring party to help you but you can’t stand in the corner and yell about it. At least buy a drink or some wings. #DnD #dnd5e #ttrpg

Theres been a mimic infesting the tavern for a few days now. I can’t seem to track it down and I don’t want to replace all the furniture so first one to find it gets a free drink. #dnd5e #DnD #ttrpg

I wouldn’t really call us a dive bar, although adventurers do sometimes dive through the windows thats typically to avoid me when I find out they plan to pay in copper. #DnD #dnd5e #ttrpg

Is it immoral to train will-o-wisps to lead adventurers to the tavern? Maybe, but if your dumb enough to follow a trail of them then you deserve overpriced beer. #DND #dnd5e #ttrpg

Whats my backstory? I bought the tavern thinking it was a good idea to make some coin, so buy a drink already. #DnD #dnd5e #ttrpg

I once ran a deal where if you were recently resurrected I’d give you a free pint. Had to stop because once word got out the city was flooded with alcoholic necromancers and their thralls. #DnD #dnd5e #ttrpg

Instead of fixing the busted floorboard I covered it with a rug and left some rusty caltrops underneath. Health potions are available at the bar, buy one and get a beer at normal cost. #DnD #dnd5e #ttrpg

Strange, there seems to be an abnormal amount of purple liquid outside the tavern. All of it surrounded by a normal amount of dead adventurers. #DnD #ttrpg

Oh bullshit that was a wild magic surge! He stepped on your foot and you clearly shouted fireball. Now half my tavern is burnt to a crisp and the other half smells like burnt hair and unpaid tabs. #DnD #dnd5e #ttrpg

I understand you’re the brooding rogue type but you do have to talk to people to join their adventuring party. Anyway heres the hot chocolate you ordered. #DnD #dnd5e #ttrpg

Occasionly a rival tavern will declare a blood feud by putting a sword through the door. All it really means is I can sell a free sword and I have to give Isaluruth the crimson hellkite a call. #DnD #dnd5e #ttrpg

Huh, look at that, the tavern has been locked the whole time. No wonder there was so much peace and quiet.

Dagger, sword, dagger, dagger, bow, axe, body. Another night cleaning up a successful happy hour.

I’m not immune to charm but I am immune to giving away free beer. That being said flirting will get you a free slice of bread with your drink. #DnD #dnd5e