The Exhausted Portal Tavern🍺 (@exhaustedportal) 's Twitter Profile
The Exhausted Portal Tavern🍺

@exhaustedportal

Welcome to the Exhausted Portal, we cater to all adventurers and every entity across the realms. Grab a drink and don’t forget to pay your tab.

ID: 1546678748195434497

calendar_today12-07-2022 02:12:13

360 Tweet

17 Followers

29 Following

The Exhausted Portal Tavern🍺 (@exhaustedportal) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Even if there was something alive in the stew be a real adventurer and eat it. I’m not refunding coin for what equates to extra food. #DnD #dnd5e #ttrpg

The Exhausted Portal Tavern🍺 (@exhaustedportal) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I am not answering anymore questions on if it was my cooking that made the dragon thick. I say we all just move on and continue to spend coin at the tavern. #DnD #dnd5e #ttrpg

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The last line of tavern defense is these weird pyramid dice I toss on the floor in front of the door. They might be worse than actual caltrops. #DnD #dnd5e #ttrpg

The Exhausted Portal Tavern🍺 (@exhaustedportal) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Its not ok to place an arcane lock on the bathroom door after tricking the barbarian to eat the hellfire chili. Now I’m missing a door and need to fumigate for at least three days. #dnd #dnd5e

The Exhausted Portal Tavern🍺 (@exhaustedportal) 's Twitter Profile Photo

A dark & stormy night isn’t a prerequisite for crime here, bad shit happens in broad daylight all the time. I just have a reasonable cover up fee. #DnD #dnd5e #ttrpg

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I understand the food and beer was delicious but I still have to respectfully deny your request to uproot the tavern and place it at the top of your hoard inside the mountain. #DnD #dnd5e #ttrpg

The Exhausted Portal Tavern🍺 (@exhaustedportal) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Sir I understand your looking for an adventuring party to help you but you can’t stand in the corner and yell about it. At least buy a drink or some wings. #DnD #dnd5e #ttrpg

The Exhausted Portal Tavern🍺 (@exhaustedportal) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Theres been a mimic infesting the tavern for a few days now. I can’t seem to track it down and I don’t want to replace all the furniture so first one to find it gets a free drink. #dnd5e #DnD #ttrpg

The Exhausted Portal Tavern🍺 (@exhaustedportal) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I wouldn’t really call us a dive bar, although adventurers do sometimes dive through the windows thats typically to avoid me when I find out they plan to pay in copper. #DnD #dnd5e #ttrpg

The Exhausted Portal Tavern🍺 (@exhaustedportal) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Is it immoral to train will-o-wisps to lead adventurers to the tavern? Maybe, but if your dumb enough to follow a trail of them then you deserve overpriced beer. #DND #dnd5e #ttrpg

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I once ran a deal where if you were recently resurrected I’d give you a free pint. Had to stop because once word got out the city was flooded with alcoholic necromancers and their thralls. #DnD #dnd5e #ttrpg

The Exhausted Portal Tavern🍺 (@exhaustedportal) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Instead of fixing the busted floorboard I covered it with a rug and left some rusty caltrops underneath. Health potions are available at the bar, buy one and get a beer at normal cost. #DnD #dnd5e #ttrpg

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Strange, there seems to be an abnormal amount of purple liquid outside the tavern. All of it surrounded by a normal amount of dead adventurers. #DnD #ttrpg

The Exhausted Portal Tavern🍺 (@exhaustedportal) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Oh bullshit that was a wild magic surge! He stepped on your foot and you clearly shouted fireball. Now half my tavern is burnt to a crisp and the other half smells like burnt hair and unpaid tabs. #DnD #dnd5e #ttrpg

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I understand you’re the brooding rogue type but you do have to talk to people to join their adventuring party. Anyway heres the hot chocolate you ordered. #DnD #dnd5e #ttrpg

The Exhausted Portal Tavern🍺 (@exhaustedportal) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Occasionly a rival tavern will declare a blood feud by putting a sword through the door. All it really means is I can sell a free sword and I have to give Isaluruth the crimson hellkite a call. #DnD #dnd5e #ttrpg

The Exhausted Portal Tavern🍺 (@exhaustedportal) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I’m not immune to charm but I am immune to giving away free beer. That being said flirting will get you a free slice of bread with your drink. #DnD #dnd5e