I can’t wait to read thousands of copies of the Bee Movie script using this product

Go Hawks

Got told there was a Texas State band member who was escorted from the stadium due to throwing a trident at the Nevada football players.

Can't believe they finally arrested the guy who spent the last ten years ending every sentence he said with "you know, this reminds me of when I was in Las Vegas and murdered Tupac Shakur with a gun that I think I still have in my garage somewhere."

could i get th e opposite of this please

Instagram ads: Here’s the specific water bottle your were talking about yesterday and a sweater pre-selected in your favorite color Twitter ads: Here’s 9000 Cheech & Chong gummies and a promoted post from user TrumpsAmericaa420 that just says “the Jews”

South Carolina is currently running the greatest promotion ever: Free concessions. I took it upon myself to eat 10 hot dogs and see if anyone else was doing the same. Spoiler: They weren’t. thestate.com/sports/college…

I love joining a class action lawsuit. Hell yeah I've been wronged. Justice needs to be served. A surprise check for $26 in 6 years will make it right

Drinking cough syrup until I can not only understand the minions language, but their motives

Just like we drew it up.

perfect. ready to go. ship it out

There's something remarkable about getting a Jeopardy question wrong when the answer is literally your name

This would cost $90 without delivery but i guess @doordash doesn't want me to eat tonight

I hope this email kills us both

This isn't even the best formation in the pregame routine