"I have feelings for you…I’m not telling you which ones."

"Has anyone’s crush ever actually worked out for them or is that a myth?"

"I would like to become a bumblebee, sit on flowers, and be yellow."

"Physically I am here… mentally I am lost in a thick forest, collecting mushrooms in a basket and carrying a tiny frog around in my pocket."

"I always either look panicked or homicidal but it’s okay because those are basically my only emotions."

"You are not ready to hear about trees."

"Due to personal reasons I’ll be going feral."

"I’m a nice person but I’m about to start throwing rocks at people."

"I like a man and it is ruining my life. Goodnight."

#ManCrushMonday "Shh!"

"I hope your day is as good as my ass."

Someone threatens Keelin with a knife. "Joke’s on you, now I’m horny."

"Someone take me out…either in the date way or the assassination way."

"I’m a really affectionate person once you get past my five layers of shyness, awkwardness, fear, dislike, and loneliness."

"I am sexy and will die in a knife fight."

"Stab wound? You mean extra pocket."

"My momae didn’t raise no fool. A fucking psycho maybe, but no fool."

"I love locking my door…you’re not coming in."

"A peaceful walk in the woods really relaxes me. The fact that I’m dragging a dead body should be irrelevant."

"Knife to meet you."