You and all your standard tunings can go straight to standard hell

Rage Against the Machine is jock rock.

I bought a weighted blanket and I'm afraid that my wife and my dog are not strong enough to move it if I'm the first to go.

So there I was, minding my own business, eating bodega grapes...

Imagine trying to keep a straight face while telling a young person that their vote matters.

I’d have a real hard time sleeping tonight if I didn’t have an inbox full of emails from every company on Earth assuring me that they’re diligently Lysoling their banisters and bike seats.

Dude on the elevator wearing a face mask just told me I’m lucky to be tall because I get to breathe fresher air. Then my dog sneezed and shit got real tense.

This was really something before all you assholes showed up. #MyTwitterAnniversary

Whatever Bernie is about to say: as of now, Joe Biden has done nothing, absolutely nothing, to win over Bernie voters. To win over young people who believe that healthcare is a human right and that we need a Green New Deal to preserve humanity’s future on this earth. Fuck Biden.

So the guy in the orange over took the guy in the blue without voter suppression?

personally I think the "party unity problem" is driven more by the fact that The Party just used every resource at their disposal to crush the hopes of an entire generation of young people who they treated with sneering contempt the entire time

This is really fun, but the most interesting part, by far, is that Joe Rogan doesn't seem to realize that the Infinite Monkey Theorem is a thought experiment. He literally wants you to show him the monkeys or he's not buying it. pudding.cool/2020/04/infini…

this is erikprice catnip right here theworldis.bandcamp.com/album/in-circl…

My wife and I watched Sleepless in Seattle tonight and I realized that it's basically just a really romantic 90's version of Cape Fear.

Trump was in the bunker because he was inspecting it. Also he has a really hot girlfriend who lives in Canada. Sorry, you can't talk to her because she lives on a houseboat. No phone. Also she has a real hoverboard.

Kinda surreal when the President starts accusing your 75 yr old friend of being an agent of ANTIFA. My friend Martin Gugino is an old man with cancer who is now in the hospital with brain damage after being pushed to the ground by a police officer he was trying to talk to.

Being racist a little bit is like shitting your pants a little bit, a little bit is the same as a lot. You shit your pants. You’re racist.

Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed Joe Rogans.

Hey, I'm one of those friends! If you're into buying and/or selling comic books, check out our new app. It's free. You're at home pretending to work anyway. Go for it.