when i was 13 i met a boy on holiday who asked me how long you should know someone before asking them out, and I said 3 months. on the 3 month anniversary of us meeting he asked me out via email and i said no

(desperate for cock) Yeah Banjo-Kazooie has beautiful skyboxes

americans are so brandpilled they couldn't possibly concieve of just calling something what it is rather than its brand name. utter melts

BREAKING NEWS: The Trump shooter is alive and locked Jhin in my game

do u think people in 2008 were naked weighing themselves on their wii fit boards instead of getting a set of bathroom scales

i'm still alive i'm just kinda healthy atm so i haven't got anything funni to sya. hope ur all well i bought a 2m hoe mirror

tap in

MY HUSBAND IS DEAD I don't want to remarry I just want SEX

im at a party with a friend of a friend and i truly believe a bitch this bad only comes around once a century

Jeremy: ...I've watched Grand Designs with you. That smile when some eco-glass gets delayed on its way from Antwerp and the nice couple gets pushed over budget. That's the real you.

noting you do to reduce your impact on the climate will ever compensate for the existence of americans

if you're not happy single, you won't be happy in a relationship. true happiness comes from building dashboards that give executives deeper insight into critical business functions

if she's your girl why's she making me an icy squash

i wish i had a clone so she could shave my arsehole for me (i would do hers in return of course)

rest in peace hulk hogan you really were not that great of a guy but i watched a documentary featuring you while i was practicing a speedrun once and now i heavily associate spyro 3 crystal island gem swim with you, so that's something

playing a game that is very clearly marketed towards small children and that makes my £1500+ gaming PC smell like burning. its fucking awesome 100 hours this week