Sorry we've been away, folks! Having some "web" problems. Heh. We knew we shouldn't have upgraded to ios7!

@Kate_Becks_ We didn't quit. We just needed a little "time out".

@CycleViewCharts Barack Obama Harry Reid The White House You nuts? We hate those guys!

@KBake_2 @Ovaaay We'd like to introduce you to our innovative "drone" program...

@paulashcomedy Sadly, no. We have to show up at our desks. Sorta.

We shouldn't be surprised that those eager to bring back sedition laws would be just as eager to censor others.

Graymangary Did you really just report USGov to the Barack Obama account? You spineless bitch. YOU are what's wrong with America. Pussy.

Anybody here know Ph Pee? #glitch

U.S., New Zealand Announce Expanded Defense Cooperation. go.usa.gov/WgTk

So, yeah, joint defense with New Zealand's a *thing* now! Aren't we great?

Numbers. How do they work? x.com/WhiteHouse/sta…

Hey, what happened to HealthCaliphate? How are we ever gonna get the website going now!?!?!?

Score for us in ol' Virginny!

Good to see you back, HealthCaliphate. We were starting to worry that this whole healthcare thing wasn't going to work out!

@shoutsout2tonio Look, it's real simple: Take your handouts, or be prepared to slave away for those who do. It's only fair.

Love #Obamacare? (Wait, really?!) Er, we mean, yeah if you love Obamacare, you're going to love Obamacare+.

What's Obamacare+, you ask? It's just like Obamacare, only with insurance company bailouts. Also, the webstie still doesn't work.

"Dallas Buyers Club" reminds us that the USGov has a long history of killing people for their own good. #Obamacare

@AngieWilliams45 Yes! As long as you file proper permits with authorities and fill out your 1040 (and have health insurance), you're free!