I think a good way to motivate a child to potty train would be to occasionally stand around outside your bathroom chuckling at the toilet and when your kid comes up and asks what’s so funny you just wave them off and say “You wouldn’t get it”

i went into a toy store earlier because i've decided to get into gunpla model kits and the employees of the store were listening to a playlist of nu metal and playing with tech decks life continues to find a way

BREAKING: Musk to stop using arms until he "can figure out what's going on"

people who think mosquitos "really like them"... get a grip

post: my grandmother was attacked by my neighbor's off leash dog, she's going to need stitches bot reply: Haha this dog moment had me laughing! many of our loved ones can be dear to us.

Please understand, as an NBA fan, I no longer care about any of the other stuff that's going on in the world. If this happened on 9/11 I would not remember Osama Bin Laden's name today.

It was actually really important to rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic. They were all sliding around

True. With spring training, the playoffs, and checking in on the minors, the actual number is quite a lot more.

shot: me reading a big fancy book called "stephen". reverse shot: me actually reading a cheap magazine called "steven" hidden in the book's pages

(explaining bugs bunny to a girl) ok the thing you gotta know about this guy is hes basically never serious. He is always clowning on others

I, too, believe that the best way for me to do my job would be to just do nothing and see what happens.

when he says "ahwooo" it's scary because you think the werewolves are nearby. but then he says "the werewolves of london" and you think oh.. i'm not in london. but then you remember they could travel