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ice cream is good for you

to the 7 of you that follow me, what’s ur body count ?

i look like the kid from wonder

me and my dad get a family discount for using the same plastic surgeon

was matilda neurodivergent ?

any time i look at a fish i have ego death

ella just said really violently “my order will be here before yours”

i am eve i am eve i am eve

I hate everything i’ve ever tweeted. I had a beautiful day and then reread my old tweets and am having an identity crisis

I disavow everything i’ve ever tweeted. Also This song is so good but I think bo burnham would absolutelyyyyy hate hate hate my vexing laugh

also this platform is not for me because I can’t spell, I’m not informed and i wanna see peoples EYES

wait one more thing!!! the subway is amazing when you have a seat

why does the walk back always feel so much shorter?

I will begin mourning by watching Benadryl Brownie and Lefty Call.

happy leap day william

I’ve imprinted on someone else’s dog. Like Moro, he is sentient and larger than life. I’m fantasizing about dressing up as princess mononoke and walking him down graham ave off leash. But i also don’t want to be scouted for love on the spectrum

re the princess mononoke costume…. is that kosher ? My D.W costume this year was contested by a certain someone, but I think dressing as an aardvark is O.K