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“The nose plays.”

Have you ever met a writer? Grumbling is their natural state.

Is this real?

It's Lily Tomlin's birthday, and while most are talking about her acting career, I especially love her NO BS life policy. Here she is walking off of Dick Cavett's talk show after actor Chad Everett said his wife is "the most beautiful animal I own", leaving him to sit in his own

Bad enough Drew Barrymore decided to break the WGA strike on 9/11, but then she had to mock the Twin Towers like this??

Gov. Scott Walker’s Thanksgiving turkey pic:

Drew Barrymore just took one for the (Hasan Minhaj public relations) team.

You know that HOLLYWEED guy is looking at this and thinking “WEED STRONG?” “WGA STRONGWEED?” “WG-JAY?”

It’s crazy how we’re all calling Donald Trump Donald Duck now. I can barely remember his old name.

I hate that I lack the skill to photoshop this so gun’s barrel is pointed backwards.

One time I accidentally dropped my iPhone in a river and it instantly electrocuted every fish for 10 miles.

New on Medium: "Jigsaw Loses His Fastball" link.medium.com/wqlJckjjBDb

Right now Nestor must be so proud of his father, who is three years older than him.

I’m convinced Todd Phillips has seen six films, max.

Lemme save you some trouble, people who hacked 23andMe looking for data points about Jews: We have IBS.

I really loved this Django Gold special. Incredibly dark and funny, and an enviable gift for language. All the best words.

Then he attempted to drop the mic, but the mic simply hung in mid-air.

Newly up on Medium: "I Was Indicted for YOU." PLEASE CLAP. PLEASE SHARE: link.medium.com/G1tezVzAUEb

We all remember our first trip to Disney World. But for todd levin, a long-time writer for Conan O’Brien, it was memorable for all the wrong reasons. Hear his incredible story on the excellent ‘Keys to the Kingdom' with Matt Gourley and Amanda. share.harkaudio.com/WmzydpdZoXcw5q…