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labubu this, labubu that, how about a labubotomy

why are men so self conscious about their height like there are many more important flaws to be self conscious about for example the lack of emotional intelligence

Losing it over this therapy horse that vigorously plays the piano to wake kids up from anesthesia

if i woke up to Li'l Sebastian rippin on the keys i would think i died during the procedure and was now in heaven

maria von trapp because why were the nuns so mean about my girl? who cares if she climbed trees, waltzed on her way to mass, would whistle on the stairs and if she was late for everything (except for every meal), she had her reasons :/

cheese on the beach? weird but fuckin’ beautiful

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak

So true

if we were two little mice i would share my cheese with you

Just got my yearners permit

You just know someone’s let AI write their wedding vows, love letters, parents’ obituaries… Such a profound loss to self and community when people relinquish the truth of their own words, their own voices, and become epiphenomenal vessels for computers to talk to each other.

im sorry but i will never back into a parking spot. that is just not who i am or what im about

very very very hard when someone you’re planning a trip with does not get the Spirit of the vacation. “instead of a quaint coastal b&b, why don’t we just camp,” yes, sure … instead of joy perhaps we could have misery,

me waiting for the gynecologist after they told me to undress from the waist down 20mins ago

Mikes Hard Boiled Egg

when payday is the day before rent day it’s like the money is giving me a little wave as it’s on its way to my landlord

all girl want is... wear big shirt no pant... eat snack... have kiss...

Being in a bad mood is soo humiliating like why am I replying in one word answers this is ruining my brand as a delight to be around I feel so naked without my zest for life

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