So, with the mass exodus underway ... where is #AcademicTwitter heading? 🦋? 🧵? 🐋?

And, more to the point ... where should I go next? And how do I bring y'all along with me to continue our mutual commiseration?

Today's task: writing a recommendation later for someone in my department. I hired him as an assistant professor; now he's passing me in rank to become a full.

Today's Faculty Senate meeting:

Campus awards ceremony last week. Associate Deans is reading the list of nominees. Associate Deans mispronounces everyone's award titles and laughs it off, saying "nobody knows what these people do anyways".

Email from Associate Deans: "Over 100 of you haven't submitted your grades that are due tomorrow! This is a crisis! Get your grades in!" Me: "um, that's what I'm doing tonight, and planned on doing tonight for months now".

*taps mic* is this thing still on?

Adult kid living at home: "I won't be around V-Day night; I'm visiting friends in [nearby town]." Me and spouse: "yay!" Adult kid today: "oh, my plans changed, I'm not going until Saturday." Me:

Me: traveling at a conference, doing conference things Department Chair, 9:00am: "Please certify that you are in compliance with the DoE order on race by 5pm today." Me:

Our business school is changing the name of one of their courses because it has "DEI" in its name. They aren't changing a damn thing about the content of the course. But nobody wants to be the next victim of the Eye of Sauron. (sigh)

Just filled out Yet Another Employee Satisfaction Survey. Waiting for Associate Deans to tell us that the predictable (horrible) results are all the fault of the faculty.

Last year, NewProf: "Let's all donate to the Employee Capital Campaign! We work for a great school!" This year, NewProf: "I know we're all paid like shit, but can all we donate to the capital campaign anyways to get Associate Deans off our backs?"

Well, there it is. Years of pay freezes or token pay increases have finally taken effect. My spouse, who works part-time, now has a higher salary than I do.

How many professors does it take to figure out how to login to a lecture hall computer that requires 2FA?

Apparently, "rotated out" is the new HR euphemism for "fired". I wish people would just speak plainly.

Ah, yes ... it's time for the annual threats by Associate Deans to attend Commencement "or else".

parents brought in breakfast burritos for teachers to show appreciation. School posts a picture of a group eating them. Number of people in the picture that are teachers: zero 😂

Academia is under attack from DC. My university's response:

And ... yet another high-level administrator is running from the sinking ship. But Associate Deans tells me that all is well, so there's that.

Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary