Please forgive the typos, I am responding on my phone from my beach house.

No, your department’s job candidates aren’t seasoned and experienced, they were fired from jobs at even lower ranked institutions.

I understand rent seeking behavior and appreciate your efforts to secure rents for yourself, but there are no rents for you in this college. Not now, not ever.

We measure the effectiveness of our communication by the number of emails we send. #winning

The problem is neither the product, nor the organizational culture, nor the organizational leadership.

When recruiting new students, please refrain from telling our applicants to go to their first choice. You aren’t helping.

Run like a business they said! So we jacked up tuition, added a bunch of hidden fees, and made jobs at the college more conditional, temporary, and less secure.

Apparently they don’t want us to run like a business. Not a successful one anyway.

The college will decide on fall contracts after we see spring grade distributions.

You know when we told you to publish in the top journal in your field and you did! Congrats!

But we don’t consider it the top journal any more, not after the editorial team changed.

You don’t have enough to publish? You had 2500+ Twitter posts last month.

No sense of humor? I tried being funny, but I was the only one laughing

Eisenhower planned the invasion of Europe in 8 months. You’ve been working on a department strategic plan for five years?

No, we didn’t stop our DEI efforts, we renamed them. Goodbye DEI, Hello Access & Engagement!

And don’t worry, it will take the legislature a few years to figure it out.

We’ll be sending staff around to make sure you are teaching during the eclipse tomorrow. Meanwhile, we are having a watch party just outside the admin building.

You want to know why the college didn’t approve your leave proposal? Easy, we don’t like you or the “work” you do.

Remember details matter! If you can’t get the smal things right, can we trust to get the big thins right?

The Liberal Arts Are The Shopping Mall Of The Mind

The biggest problem we have in Zoom meetings is oversharing. Actually that’s a problem in all meetings.

If you aren’t in your office or in a classroom, you aren’t working as far as the dean’s office is concerned. So you are working about 10 hours a week.

I am not “trying” to make your job harder. I am making your job harder. See the difference?