Actually played the audio and I’m CRYING

Earlier I said “everyone get your shit out and let’s see whose pussy the longest.” And more people should have laughed. No one understands me.

Earlier we got HEB and were unloading the groceries. Dante (dog) always sticks his head in the bags to investigate. I was putting something away, and turned around and found him trotting away with a wrapped bean and cheese burrito in his mouth. Making off with his loot.

.Lisa Rinna’s Middle Finger just told me he’s pretending to be a homosexual for clout and said this coaster reminded him of his wife

Something cunt about me is that I worked at the renowned Chili’s on 45th & Lamar

I knew I snagged a bad bitch, when she showed me her arsenal of excel formulas contributing to a more efficient workflow