There’s a teeny non binary bug on my pool! #ladybird #couldbeaboy

That’s her present sorted then #someonesgonnagetsome

Work 1st aid course today... best one ever as I learned how to treat a carpet burn... 😂 for the record apply cold water for 15 minutes!

Camping in the fucking rain!!!! Someone bring more gin!!!!

My wife is 40 in 1 minute!

this old tweet came up today, and I see, in it's time, it's gotten a lot of action. Guess there's some truth to it, right?

Eat it fast biatch, I can't be dealing with chomping during the movie!!! #stopchomping

Stripping and filling holes!!!

Taking kids to a Druid temple... There may or may not be a sacrifice made!

Still decorating the bloody bedroom! Coming up 3 weeks! I wish I had paid someone to do it! #doitthisen #yorkshirelass

Need to hoover, fold laundry, prep lunch, eat, make food for work, shower, dress, walk dogs, wash up, and I've got 40 minutes! #fuck

cake to bake, presents to wrap, balloons to blow, my munchkin is 5 tomorrow!!!! And baby #2 is due in 5 months! #alltherainbowkids

There's actual snow falling in Yorkshire, not hail or sleet but thick flakes!! I am so pissed with April!!

Thankfully it's not laying, but it is sooo cold!

Once again, it's the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts so, as promised, I shall apologise for a death. This year: Remus Lupin.

Tidy house, neat lawns, washing on the line, dinner prepared, step goal achieved! #winningatthursday