My 3 year old is currently outraged… I mean full scream and cry… because I offered him “milk and a banana.” When I asked him what he wanted instead, he said, with a straight face, “banana and milk!”

Things I have learned men do not enjoy since i’ve been back dating: 1) When you refer to pooping as “taking the browns to the super bowl” or “dropping the kids off at the pool” 2) When you say “big stretch” or “big yawn” when they stretch or yawn 3) When you ask them the last

If you can do it and not lose everything it’s the better option.

After my entire adult life of people pleasing I finally snapped. I don’t have another favor for anybody left in me.

No fucking way.

You know, saying nothing at all is also allowed.

Best decision I ever made was be 30 and broke and go to law school. I'm now absolutely not broke.

Now this is advertisement 😂😂😂

The most honest song Drake ever recorded was the one about that woman’s quality of life drastically improving once he left her tf alone.

Don’t lose your job trying convince someone fire is hot when they are only interested in burning the house down. They know. They don’t care. 🤷🏽‍♀️

These things take time.

just tried to name 5 bia songs but sorry sis i unfortunately could not

This world doesn’t deserve Cardi B. I’m proud of her like we grew up together or something. Lol

.OFFSET sir, that the fumbliest fumble in the history of fumbles. Are you ok?

Why is my ‘for you’ just racist takes on everything?

Your periodic reminder that up to 64% of X accounts are bots, and the algorithm is controlled by a Trump ally with a far-right agenda.

Rep. Ilhan Omar: “I feel embarrassed for [Trump] because in these attacks what he does and I think what the likes of Nancy Mace and whoever that Randy guy is – they expose themselves for how stupid they are. And that is embarrassing for us as a country … Saying, you know, we’re

When Erika Kirk said she forgave her enemy, the audience stood and clapped and cried. A few moments later, Trump said he disagreed and hated his enemy. The same audience stood up and cheered

😂