The strong survive. The weak are forgotten. What you do today will echo in eternity. Great deals on TVs at Best Buy.

Taco Bell’s Cannon. Your move, Chipotle.

Twitter. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.

I write stuff. Some thousands of people like it, it seems. You might like it, too. Pay whatever you want down to $0. (Discounts in the linked page.) The paid member's version of The Reframe is the same as the unpaid version. So why pay? Glad you asked. armoxon.substack.com/about

Nonplussed Cucumber Water. It's Fulsome!

Look. I’m all for diversification. But how many kinds of goddamn Oreos do you people need?

Everybody Hertz.

You can’t sell a white checkmark for eight dollars. You have to make them think it’s blue first.

I don't care if it's early. Musk keeps the lights on. Let's get this pitch session going. X. It's for assholes. Peggy, why is my coffee untainted by vodka

Let me give you a picture. Imagine the sound of being castrated by your own zipper. That's the manly sound of X.

X. The company you trust to do whatever it is we say we do.

X. Is this porno? Squinting at the app I can’t tell but if I don’t see some skin in about 15 seconds this phone is going right out the window

Ponderosa Steakhouse. It’s inside you now.

There’s something happening here. What it is ain’t exactly beer. Coors.

Cancer doesn't kill people. People kill people. Dow Chemical.

If you find yourself in an Applebee's Grill + Bar, you have the right to ask if you are being detained or if you are free to go.