Of course I'm a milf! That stands for moody, insane, lazy female, right?

Accidentally opened my front facing camera and now I have to delete my entire existence

tell your subconscious I said pspsps

Live, laugh, launch a revolution

Like each other's tweets from thousands of miles apart and chill

I’m not certain you guys, but I think there may be something wrong with me

Say what you want, but if you follow me, it’s never boring.

Ok I’m going to become mysterious and disappear for a bit…

I don’t actually want a cocaine habit, I just want enough money I *could* have a cocaine habit.

Happiness is by far my favorite delusion.

Decades of the brain distorting every memory has one questioning if any of them are now true.

I can't be the only person who wants a Pet Donkey.

No one knocks or says "come in" anymore. Open floor plans, crime, ring doorbells, I tell ya. Sad.

Occasionally someone reads one of my posts and replies to a bunch of things I never said. 🤷🏻‍♂️

𝓢𝓽𝓮𝓹𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓲𝓮 Wal*Marts discount rack Melatonin hits harddd

Live, laugh, lobotomy.

Mac IN cheese is a more accurate name than mac AND cheese.

Anyone else think that ankle monitors should operate the same as shock collars? Just me huh?

KoKeni Snap'sSquatch Sam looks much better when I'm around.

A cat chasing it's tail... Except it's me looking for my ass.