Washington, D.C. broke the Guinness World Record for the most couples kissing under mistletoe. Most Republicans prefer to kiss under a missile toe.

This...

Oregon's next...

I love that inflatable sex dolls always look surprised at the size of my genitalia.

Burma-Shave. (In the hopes that it never has to shave.)

I have just been gifted an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar & Tony!

The wonderful Fred Gwynne looking Schlitz-faced during a break from filming The Munsters.

If only Congress had some power over tariffs.

Better known as the “Widow Maker.”

When Prince gave a speech exposing the music industry in a room filled with record label executives.

Finally a good use for Milli Vanilli's Grammy.

Ha!

It's so cold outside, I could cut glass with my nipples!

I hope he realizes how lucky he is...

Greenland: Less green than Iceland.

Birmingham, AL named best city for first-time homebuyers while Bismarck, ND named best city to find a job. But the commute would suck.

There's a bridge coming, duck!