if you need me ill be over here needing you

sometimes i think mine and t’s song should be more romantic but do it just does it ya know

every time i wear this fuck ass shirt i come home alone and can’t get out of it

popped a tire last night hitting a curb, god is punishing me for seeing my friends instead of staying home and being poor and miserable

also i can’t afford to replace it so we have to drive on this donut as long as physically possible yay

lord please send me an angel to take care of me before i kill my fucking self

cannot believe this kid tried to pretend he knew the backer better than me earlier absolute insanity

if pissing dame off was my job id never worry about bills ever

now i’m stuck watching this fuckass football game fuck man

pat: just say you have two heckin doggos, some call em puppers me: you want me to be thirty so bad

greys number one issue is beating around the bush if they had the phrase “it’s giving-” they could’ve saved at least 5 seasons of drama

chicago suburbs traffic is enough to make just about anyone want to commit premeditated aggravated assault with a deadly weapon or just straight up vehicular manslaughter, right chat?

i’m really never going to be in love again huh

impossible challenge: getting a grown man to fully understand and grasp that outside of the strip club you are just a regular human being with boundaries feelings and self respect

three of the ugliest guys i know just clowned me for getting cheated on and not cheating back. i’m locking my coochie up for the rest of the year.

“dude i am so sad i just sneezed so hard my zyn flew out of my mouth :(”

gage: hey Rachel…have you been to manny’s? me:

fuck ass vape died at work FUCK

shut up bro fuck