Getting really scared on my afternoon walk because all of the jack-o-lanterns

I am morally opposed to the installation of animatronic dinosaurs at the Columbus Zoo.

Having a baby was supposed to cure my internet addiction. Not fair!

I will absolutely never get used to girls proclaiming “It’s cancer season!”

It should be against the law to dress as anything too scary on halloween

One way that motherhood has changed me: Eloise is sucking/chewing the juice out of Mandarin wedges then spitting them out and I am absentmindedly letting her place all of the her “used” wedges into my outstretched hand 🙂

Everyone is keeping these “aura reading” swindlers in business because they want a pretty instagram pic.

Have always thought it would be funny to tweet this: I’m in labor!

I love going to Executive hour at Costco and eating a hot dog with my children at 9 in the morning.