I feel like Darth Maul was probably just excited to finally be able to use both ends of his lightsaber.

I remember The Ghost and the Darkness being much scarier when I was a kid.

Gone in 60 Minutes.

I am brushes-teeth-in-airport-bathroom years old.

A pizza without the crust is just a charcuterie board.

There’s a madness to my method.

Star Wars Characters and how they make their coffee: a thread Obi Wan makes French press coffee and gently uses just the weight of his hand to lower the filter, so that the sediment isn’t overly disturbed and the acidity is controlled.

Frankflirter.

Espresso so good that you actually drink it.

First sign of aging in the coffee industry: My favorite coffees lately are washed Typicas. 👨🏻‍🦳💀👻

If you got a helium enema would your farts sound like Alvin and the Chipmunks?

The hardest charades word is “charades”.

New candy idea: Wine Gums and Gummy Bear combo. Gamay Bears

One of those baby size apps that compare it to a fruit or an animal, but the app continues to run past delivery. Eventually the fruit would just be a larger and larger pumpkin.

I’m ready for the challenge. You have to supply your own baby.

Flight back from Houston: I’ve both seen someone arrested on the plane and on the same flight someone forgot their harmonica and they keep paging them to come get it. Full spectrum experience.

The sweet taste of success: The Swedish chef has the same microwave as me. m.youtube.com/watch?v=2Qj8Ph…

Name for a pizza place: Nothing Personal.

Business idea: Expensive bottled water company called “Tap”. Sell it to restaurants so that when the customer is offered “sparkling” or “tap” water, you can charge them a cool $10 either way. Where the angel investors at?