i think the president should be a trans immigrant and boomers shouldn’t be allowed to drive

If a government has death penalty laws against abortion, but not pedophiles, it was never about the children.

A conversation with a man: Me: All men Him: Not all men Me: okay. You have a daughter, right? Would you be comfortable with her going to a party with a bunch of other girls, with no boys present? Him: yes (without hesitation) Me: cool. Would you be comfortable with her going

i like drinking whiteclaw because it tastes exactly like it’s the product of a focus group with long covid bisexuals . which it is

*one sip of wine later* There is so much beauty

The Light from her eyes. Her immune system. Her whole life.

all roads lead back to a drunk cig

sometimes i remember the beatles did everything in eight years and go insane

Sometimes I feel inadequate looking at ppl my age getting married etc. then I see their wedding decor/dress/bachelorettes and I’m like . Nvm

There is no illness or disease at the bowling alley

Getting married at 25–28 is like leaving the party at 8pm.

If you are from the Midwest you didn’t taste guacamole until 2002 at the earliest.

The adult you think you are at 18–24 is not the same adult you will be at 25–30.

i have read the room and i need a cigarette

Not exaggerating when I say the future of our world depends on people recovering the ability to spend an unbroken hour or two reading a book without being tempted to look at their phones.

always mildly surprised that the collective grief of the pandemic didn't make people kinder to each other