I can’t believe Credit Suisse went before Deutsche Bank did how embarrassing.

My favorite part of working out is finding all new parts of my body that can hurt like did you know you have a deep core muscle that can ache like you’re having a fucking menstrual cramp from doing goblet squats well now you do!!!!!!!!!

Disney in public: I guess DeSantis won 😢 Also Disney on Feb. 8 when they sign an agreement with Reedy Creek:

This is the perfect finale to Twitter

I've been carting around my laptop everywhere I go for the last couple of weeks, just in case I happened to be in, like, a TJ Maxx when Donald Trump was indicted, which I'm happy to say is exactly where I was when this went down.

Twitter is my favorite place to be when bad things happen to bad people

This is EXTREMELY funny

🥺

I cannot express to you the NYTimes graphics desk fan fictions I am writing in my head right now. “I don’t fucking know! Put some red dots on a map! We need a picture for this spread!”

Boston, you’ve been absolutely gorgeous. Every single person I’ve met and spoken with has been a delight. 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

The United agent at my gate is SO HILARIOUSLY MEAN and I’m obsessed with him. I want him to neg me for every single flight I ever take for the rest of my life.

Hugely exciting!!!!!

The fun new development for this round of WGA strikes is that someone is gonna be like “I should just ask ChatGPT to write something” and I’m already nauseated thinking about the copyright lawsuits.

HERE WE GO

All right I give: does anyone have a BlueSky invite they’d be willing to send me?

I didn't even know you could hurt that specific part of my back this is a fun discovery.

Hey gang, in case you're looking for a bluesky code--first come first served, but I'll post these periodically as I get them! Come join the party over there!