Just ignore it and take a nap is my advice on almost everything these days.

I dare you to explain what’s wrong with it

evan loves worf 😄💁‍♀️

evan loves worf Four U.S. presidents were cheerleaders before becoming president: FDR, Eisenhower, Ronald Reagan, & George W. Bush. Just throwing that out there.

Why is it that people who are always negative don't understand that their negativity is part of what's making them sick? How do I help someone who can't be positive about ANYTHING?

Snuck up behind my husband at the pharmacy and sweetly put my head on his shoulder. He turned around with a straight face and said, “Ma’am, please respect my personal space. I won’t ask again.” The whole line glared at me. He thought it was hilarious. Vengeance is mine.

I had my lunch in the park today and shared it with him because I was terrified not to

"I didn't vote for this." - people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate

“summer is over” good. bring on the soup

for my next trick I will be mentally stable

Male or female…it doesn’t matter…everyone I come across in morning traffic is a dumb bitch.

Maybe one of the reasons I don’t judge people’s choices is because when I was a kid we were all in on a romance between a pig and a frog.

A brand-new luxury yacht, valued at $1M USD, sank just 15 minutes after its maiden launch.

Science girl

Just spent 4 hours talking to my oversee friends and then had to pick up a call from my mom and forgot that my mom does not have the same vocabulary, dark humor, sarcastic wit or quick tongue like my friends do. Had to pull it in a little. Don't want to piss my mom off.

I told my mother I was going to get a 23andMe done. So she decided to give me some information before I sent it off. My family has a lot of hidden secrets. We are way more interesting than I thought we were.

They said technology makes everything better but I swear to God I'm about to throw my phone out this goddamn window if I can't make a simple fucking reservation on a goddamn plane!

Ssssssooooo, my half black, half white 8yo niece just informed our family that ALL mixed people are now their own race. She said she's tired of not being black enough or white enough. I whole heartedly agree. Maybe her generation will save us from ourselves.

The other day a very pregnant black cat showed up and after a little gentle coaxing and some trust issues she finally came inside. I am now the proud co-parent of three beautiful solid black babies ♥