Flour off them baps gets everywhere

Driving this morning, the motorsport guitar bit from Fleetwood Mac’s The Chain came on. And there I was, music blasting, gripping the steering wheel thinking I was Lewis Hamilton looking cool whereas in reality I’m a 40 year old woman taking a sharp corner doing 7mph in a Yaris.

Bought my M&S valentines dine-in deal, and just like a Tesco meal deal, selecting the right things is an art form. Don’t be lobbing in chips or veg as your side,fools game that, get yourself the dirty mash or fancy potatoes. Steak as standard. A meal for 2 all for myself. Winner.

It may be cold and rainy now but it’ll soon be ice cold pints, pub garden and threadbare tshirt weather.

Just pumped my car tyres up all by myself so I’m basically a mechanic now. If anyone needs any furniture building or drilling doing I’m probably sound at that too. Might get myself a utility belt.

I’ve spent all weekend making a little light up book nook and loved every minute of it. Told my pal that I wish it was my job to make these and they said I should I start an OF, film myself making them whilst wearing lingerie and call it ‘Crafty Wanks’. I’m in.

Here’s to Fridays, sports direct mugs, short skirts and leopard print nails.

Definitely not dead. Lost weight, tits still massive, nothing else to report as yet. As you were officers.

Lovely bit of pink

Always the bridesmaid and all that.

Kalimera

Late night walks back to the hotel to sit on my balcony for a couple more mythos before bed are my favourite.

Get a bucket and a mop

I swear to god if they’ve done to Happy Gilmore 2 what they did to Dumb and Dumber 2 I’ll riot. It’s all in the hips Chubbs.

Last holiday pic. Fear not, I’m home and miserable now 🥲

I’ve got holiday blues real bad. Aside from the fact I don’t have the funds, know-how, or ability, how about we all crowd fund a new beach bar. Possible names include Sandy Melons, Nauti and Nice, Tides and Tatas, Shore Thing, or Julie’s Jugs (of sangria) plus, I’ll always have