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Felt so safe last night

The vaccines are so effective that you need a booster and so safe that the FDA won't approve the booster. Do I have that right?

First show in 12 years tonight

Feeling grateful this morning for all of the women who are out there smashing glass ceilings and breaking up the old boys club

The visceral excitement of the assembled dozens was palpable

Luka Dončić: - The youngest-ever NBA player to record 40 career triple-doubles - One of 11 players in NBA history to score 40 triple-doubles - Scored half of the total triple-doubles in Mavs history Unreal 🤯

Who else could do this?? 🤣

Comedians didn't suddenly become "right wing", the left just went insane and the material is too good to pass up on.

Will Smith just won an award for being the best actor, but he couldn’t act like a human being during a joke.

Will Smith will not tolerate other men making jokes about his wife. He will however tolerate other men having sex with his wife. This is a man of principle.

I've just been informed that the Washburn University student government is giving an award to President Jerry Farley for condemning me. If real estate prices ever get too high in Nashville, it's nice to know that I can always live rent-free in Washburn leftists' heads.

17 days ago, nobody knew about us. Today, we have the biggest razor account on Twitter. ihateharrys.com

Kaboom! Let’s do rhis

A new #BreakingBad spinoff about Gus Fring? #BetterCallSaul's Giancarlo Esposito is game 👀 "I'm tearing up and looking over my shoulder and I hear Vince say, 'You never know.' [...] [T]here's room for material for the rise of Gus." 😱🙏 buff.ly/3rdbO5q

That’s it. I’m out. Deactivating my account today. I can’t in good conscience use a platform that’s run by an evil billionaire. That’s why I’m sticking with Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok. Standing on my principles. #GoodByeTwitter

Johnny The Walrus is no longer classified as a children’s book on Amazon. They moved it to the politics category. Amazon has decided that books promoting self-acceptance are not appropriate for kids. Books promoting chemical castration and hormone pills are totally fine though.

Next I’m buying Coca-Cola to put the cocaine back in

Our students are presenting at Society for Neuroscience (SfN) and stopped at Axion BioSystems to learn more about cutting-edge technologies!