If you really hate Sam Newman, DM me for a copy of Players. Won't tell you the end for 'Tickets Thompson', (autobiography title 'Tickets: on Himself') playboy botox taking ex footballer, but it's satisfying. I promise.

Mark Rothko working from home.

Let us celebrate the imperishable victory of the Red Army against fascism on this 76th anniversary of the defeat of Nazi Germany. No twerking please.

Just tuned in to the 7pm ABC TV news to learn about state budget and one of the first things I was told was that it’s free entry to strip joint Spearmint Rhino tonight. Brilliant photo bomb if planned. Watch this. ⁦Richard Willingham⁩

#BREAKING Newly minted Governor of New York, Kathy Hochul, in the Far Northwestern nation of US, once thought a promising democracy in a troubled region, pledges allegiance to aging, inept ruler, Joe Biden, vows to use office to rig elections in favour of ruling party.

’Twas the night before polling And all through the nation Voters were writhing in uneasy anticipation. Up jumped La Tingle, her face voice cold as thunder “You Murdoch twats, just shut your gobs. You make me want to chunder.'

@BBCLauraKT Edward must've been good in the army with all the medals he has (from his mum) x.com/HrryFlwrs/stat…

The Greens prefer abstract blackfellas. Real ones are too scary.

Merribek Labor's spokesperson on The Voice is a professional tarot card reader. Crystal ball shortage?

That's right, Neil Young performed at #United4OldGrowth to deliver a message to the Canadian government and BC NDP🔥 And yes we were all sobbing as soon as he started playing Heart of Gold💛

Why nuclear? What's wrong with good old baking powder?

How dare Paul Keating slag Billy Hughes.

"I'm the face of prawns"

6 years today since we lost him. I'll never forgive the fucking Grampians.

I know he's a reactionary but, jeeze, the laughs.

As general manager of the inaugural Melbourne Comedy Festival in 1987, I 'looked after' Barry Humphries on a number of occasions. First, the launch press conference - the festival was created by John Pinder, had zero profile and could not attract a single sponsor. But Peter /2

Cook and Barry Humphries had agreed to launch it. The press went batshit with joy. The organisers felt like we were in the presence of royalty. Prior to the event, we asked them to put their palmprints in a tray of wet cement as permanent momento. Humphries looked at me like /3

the idea was moronic and I was the moron. Then, at the height of the conference (played as Les Patterson), he whipped out a trick appendage and offered to dip it in concrete. He'd seized the moment and turned the gag into his own, one much better than suggested. Brilliant. /4

I was too busy laughing to interrogate my feelings for hurt.

As general manager of the inaugural #MelbourneComedyFestival in 1987, I 'looked after' #BarryHumphries on a number of occasions. First, the launch press conference - the festival was created by John Pinder, had zero profile and could not attract a single sponsor. But Peter /2