Just lie. The major corporation doesn’t care about you as a person, just your output. Lie to them

Passed out and woke up at the LaGuardia all hands

holy fuck holy fuck holy fuck holy fuck

This album is so good that it hurts

God forbid a man has hobbies

That was supposed to be a joke

Rock Chalk

You ever just take a shot of tequila that completely fixes you?

Just got stuck on the subway with my ex’s ex AMA

We’re so back

It’s like there’s a horse loose in a hospital

Literally changes every day, but: (no order) 1. Day in the Life - The Beatles 2. In My Time of Dying - Led Zeppelin 3. Dogs - Pink Floyd 4. Can’t You See - Marshall Tucker Band 5. All Around You - Sturgill Simpson

Siri play WSMFP

This is the last thing that approximately 45-75 light domestics are going to see this weekend

For every Jayhawk today and tomorrow – Thank you, David Booth. 🔗→bit.ly/KU-DavidBooth

The “it’s never been more over” transition to “we’re so back” is going to go crazy today

Fake pooping and mucking phone at the bar. I’m so cooked.

These are the types of nerds you would throw water balloons at from your roof