Best twitter thread.

Not how I expected him to come back but okay.

Just tried to lock my fridge with my car keys. It’s going to be a long half term. #8weeks

FINISHED. A must read for anyone who ever eats. Hit me up if you want to borrow it. You should. ruby.tandoh @ M6 Staffordshire instagram.com/p/Bpw6CfOHTiri…

TEACHERS: Here it is... the one you’ve all been waiting for - our CHRISTMAS #AUTHORFYSURPRISEBOX IS HERE! RT/follow before 31st Nov to win 1 of 20 boxes sponsored by Simon & Schuster Children's Books & filled to the brim with festive books, free classroom resources, display material & more 🎅🏼🎄📚

It’s not his coat they hate. That’s not really their cause What gets up all their noses? He opposes all their wars.

Today, in a free period, I performed an autopsy on my ‘dead’ glue sticks, to create a savage, ‘Frankenstein’ style super-stick. If I do nothing else with my life, I’ll die proud. #teaching #procrastination

We've got TWO Christmas comps on the go and this is your last chance to enter as the winners will be drawn tomorrow! Get us followed and this retweeted for your chance to win FREE EGGS FOR DECEMBER from the inimitable Winter Tarn Dairy!

What other job could be this weird?

Been at a training day with some glorious year 8s for @thedianaaward . We’ve been challenged to share an honest, positive selfie. It’s time to stop just taking selfies #MyTrueSelfie mytrueselfie.com/gallery/3e9e50…

This is how Chorlton High School plan to tackle cyber bullying. Anti-Bullying Pro (from charity The Diana Award) The Diana Award

Still my favourite cracker joke: I bought the world’s worst thesaurus the other day - not only is it terrible, it’s terrible.

With the #Christmas break stretching ahead, now is the perfect time to pick up a book! Why not join our Key Stage 4 students in their reading and try Dickens' A Christmas Carol, one of their wonderful GCSE texts.

Sandra Bullock

I know everything is terrible. But look, Mohamed is happier. He is writing about his life in a refugee camp and his life here, and here is better, now. He is 13 and from Syria.

The only similarity between a hard or soft Brexit and a hard or soft egg is that in real terms an egg can be hard or soft. There's no hard or soft Brexit. It's a binary-trap. It's a curated conundrum. It's a metaphor of malfeasance or meta for malfeasance.

Just been told that the gallery sold a print of my work. I’m a big contemporary art Fan but a dreadful drawer so since school never thought I could make visual art - never mind have something hanging and then sold... and in Iceland of all places. Really really chuffed. 💪🇮🇸

HAPPY WORLD BOOK DAY! 🎉 We hope you all enjoy a fantastic day of reading and sharing your favourite books! 📚🌞 #WorldBookDay #ReadMCR #ShareAStory

Brilliant and #creative staff costumes for #WorldBookDay ! 4/4 Even though a little #HouseElf was a bit late! 😀 Celebrating the joy of imagination and reading 📚 🎉🍎⚡️🌞 #ReadMCR #ShareAStory