i’m about to become so much happier once i get my Vietnamese coffee filter

if someone takes a puff from a cigarette and doesn't inhale, can you flip the person upside-down and make the smoke rise into their lungs, giving them a nicotine buzz?

if god came up to you and said “give me all your money right now or else” would you use your karate or just give up because it’s god

y’all see these “hidden drives” signs on the road? making me a little afraid i’m gonna head-on collide with wonder woman

As you age, the meme goes from "ice cream machine broke" to "money order machine broke"

🖕

I like the cicadas because it makes it seem like the population of insects isn't drastically declining. May God have mercy on us all.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star How I wonder what you are Darting 'cross the sky so high Now I think I might know why Twinkle, twinkle, not a star An airplane is what you are

thinking about drinking raw milk and getting bird flu. who wants to join in on the fun

Lol

Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary This is as awesome as it gets

Joseph Robinette Stalin. Things are really starting to make sense!

what if we all just ran dehumidifiers outside

i think i'm good, but thank you for the suggestion

no offense, *offense*

Some things are more important than other things. That's why they invented the word "important"

Whoever came up with plastic screws deserves to be drawn and quartered

BREAKING: Supreme Court rules anyone in power can do anything they want, because ‘we all die anyway’

this weather is really outside right now

Open the NYT app to play games. First, you must have a peripheral of this terrible story. ONLY THEN, games. Me want play game and get sad later, me thanks in advance. Its not like you're a news app or anything.