🥁👶🏽🧕🏽👳🏾‍♂️

The reason I wrote “Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong” is because my step mom said I would live in the basement of my high school and play guitar for the rats.

I like to give the people what they want, so this months one-page RPG is "Be Gay, Solve Crime", which asks you to play the role of a detective who solves crimes (badly) using their one talent: homosexual subtext

Wealth, dick, Covid. Two outta three ain't bad.

Happy 2 year anniversary to when I was sleep deprived and decided to post this at 2 am on New Year’s Day

favorite tumblr post I've reblogged in a while (painting attached in next tweet, strongly recommend reading the text first)

Me

new year new books what are we reading?

Women are allowed to have checking accounts.

On my long running theory that we have tricked ourselves into thinking lobster is good

Painfully accurate👀😂 #writerslife #amwriting

I suddenly need to do this, but I'm 46 years old and my memory ain't that great.

Zero. I have zero points.

THREAD!

This is absolutely wild. Conservatives are completely losing their minds after it was revealed Fox News has been making charitable donations to Planned Parenthood and the Satanic Temple. The reason is pretty hilarious. 🧵1/5