I wish there was a way to make Siri sound like Schmidt from New Girl

Why is my bitmoji hotter than me?

When Jimmy jabs season comes round and you can watch the entire thing on Alex Benny 's story

Last night I hosted a dinner party and ended up lighting half the table on fire. I then proceeded to try putting the fire out by blowing on it like a birthday candle...if you ever feel bad about messing up on something just know: I've done worse.

guys if you ever have the urge to send a girl a dick pic, send a dog pic instead. I guarantee the results will be 1000x better

Yeah sex is good, but have you ever gotten your marks back the same day you wrote the midterm?

#NewProfilePic

Most of the time I'm pretty content being single, but there are some duets that are pretty tough to sing both parts by yourself, you feel me?

why do men gain 3-4 hotness points when they wear a backwards baseball hat and yet if I try to rock one I look like someone’s 8 year old kid sister tryin to hang out with the big boys

I still watch this clip on a weekly basis. What a moment

Honestly how dare Shonda kill off Lexie frickin Grey but keep Maggie around this long #GreysAnatomy

My texts from last night #justpgthings

Absolutely breathtaking. One of the best things I’ve ever seen on social media.

I was not prepared for the Lion King to hurt me like that again 😭😭😭 #LionKing2019