"He's scared to death/he's shook/too scared to look/at his fucking balloon/fuck Bonzocloon, etc." x.com/metaauthor/sta…

this ruined my day

eventually they're going to crack and make an alien sequel that pretends that all the original sequels don't exist a la halloween 2018

everytime i think of Return of the Jedi i think about this tweet

It’s no Dr Sleep I’ll tell ya that much

Due to the recent surge in metal theft across Japan, effective September 1, it will be prohibited to carry tools such as cable cutters in a concealed manner without a legitimate reason.

おはよ!まいぶらざー Instead of fixing the real problem, they make life harder for people who already follow the rules. This is a very common thing they do in government. It's like patching a pothole with duct tape

I do think this is one of my best opening sentences

Extremely convinced water companies use "Artesian" in advertising because people confuse it for artisan(al). No way more than 1% of the population can tell you what it means

Shot for what?

I still think it’s very funny Kardeshev came up with a scale to measure civilizational progress that literally excludes every civilization that has ever actually existed that we know of

Horrible Situation Somehow Gets Worse

"I'm bored with being god," complains Iggy Stardust, in a seeming reference to 'the super man'. Man is something to be overcome; what have you done to overcome him?

At some point it's just a failing in human psychology, or perhaps only of petty tyransara. Man is something to be overcome!

Valar aaus par surmontar; quat ta faus par tal surmontause?

(As a note, and at risk of dating this Desk, Him Upstairs' use of 'valar' for 'man' predates GRR Martin's; at least, the publication of ASOIAF. I suspect both are influenced by Quenya however.)

Let's see Paul Allen's 'Meet The Heavy'

i will not pull it, sam-i-am. i will not choose who dies by tram