Justin Timberlake when the officer told him to walk a straight line

The apartment complex across from mine in Cali has some bug infestation and my cousin is sending me snap updates and I swear those guys better stay over there

I am a girls girl, NOT a stupid bitches girl. Thought I’d clear that up

“He thinks a pedophile is someone who crashes into a ditch”

I know a hot dog hate to see me coming

why tf are they mermaid man and barnacle boy

doctor: do you smoke or drink me: yes doctor: ok me: are u mad at me

may you experience your own kindness.

maybe in another life i punched that bitch

Twitter has offically died

“Weekends are for having fun” me:

just cut off a student driver. welcome to the real world bitch

relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo

If your gut telling you somebody acting weird, THEY ACTING WEIRD.

Never rely on a man