Disassociating is crazy because who just drove this car home.

Tea vendor at the train station smiled and said ‘have a blessed day’. And I Love this.

Every night I think I'm going to bed at a decent hour. Every morning I realize I was completely wrong.

I don't think I care how Strange the Things are anymore

After yesterday's snow storm, how do I spell shovel? I-B-U-P-R-O-F-E-N

I’m telling stupid jokes and playing the hits on the radio, meanwhile my son today is defending his thesis for his PhD. Life is a wild ride and I could not be more proud.

Tonight I cooked spaghetti for 3, which means there’s enough for the whole neighborhood.

A new study says that regular exercise boosts people’s creativity. Case in point… all my tweets.

I may not be rich and famous. And that’s all.

A co-worker said something to me today, no one has ever said. “You’re looking dapper!” So, I tipped my fedora and asked him if he wanted a martini.

This year I'm doing homemade presents. Who wants a mason jar of revenge?

Girl Scout cookies and chill?

ehh whats up doc

It’s officially Christmas… I bought some dark chocolate covered cherries.

Cats are why we can’t have nice Christmas ornaments

The only thing worse than small talk is having to listen to other people have small talk.

Nothing quite says, “Happy Holidays,” like your blow up, giant lawn Santa, that is deflated every single day.