Have I shared my new story assignment yet? It's a real stinker.

I'm going to need this story to happen.

I can't be sure if this was me or Amelia Prynce, but I'm certain it was one of us.

Gentle reminder: not 👏🏾 all 👏🏾 black 👏🏾 people 👏🏾 live 👏🏾 in 👏🏾 inner 👏🏾 cities 👏🏾#debate

Not going to make it. x.com/maureenjohnson…

This either came from me or from Amelia Prynce. At this point it's hard to tell. x.com/tfln/status/78…

Oh sweet lord, I drew the short straw again. Here goes another round of debate night coverage. #debatenight

Trump's strategy seems to be "I know you are but what am I?" #debatenight

Some unfortunate makeup artist was tasked with making the tangerine nightmare human-toned. He or she deserves a little credit. #debatenight

Mac N Douche just said that he only invests in China over America because Clinton hasn't made it illegal for him to do so. #debatenight

Apparently it's Clinton's fault that the apricot terror is a tax dodger.. because she should have stopped him. #debatenight

The toupeed clown foreskin continues to forget that ISIS came about well after Clinton's husband's presidential term. #debatenight

Moderator does not give permission to take control, but the entitled buffoon pushes forward without consent. Sound familiar? #debatenight

"All she's done is talk to the African Americans and Latinos." -Unholy Cocksplat OMG YOU MEAN YOU HAVE TO TALK TO THEM???? #debatenight

Do you notice how the tangerine meatsuit always jumps directly from "inner cities" to blacks and latinos? #racistdogwhistle #debatenight

Go big or go home? I choose home. Also, naps and wine.

Feel secretly slutty this Christmas by thinking of a glass of water as a snowman’s penis at room temperature.

"Journalism is printing what someone else does not want printed. Everything else is public relations." - George Orwell

*whispers into the void* In contemporary use, fact is understood to refer to something with actual existence. merriam-webster.com/news-trend-wat…

Someone just argued that "words matter" not two minutes after a tirade insisting "irregardless" is an acceptable word.